January 17th- An original poem

January 17

I wished on a dream, thinking I would find my king the way they do in Disney Movies.
But after so many days of waking up disappointed I thought that maybe my wish got lost in the mass of wishes thrown toward the evening sky every night.
Countless nights pass, still no answer or response from the clouds or the stars.
Still I’m hopeful every night as my head hits the pillow.
Praying that my Fairy Godmother hears me and takes pity.

January 17th my dreams came true.
On that cold night the stars began to shine like diamonds.
The air was sweet with jasmine and lavender and as I drifted I knew that night he would come.
As I float towards my dreams, I feel him pulling me closer to his chest
The strong arms of my lover wrapped around my waist feel like God’s own hands pulling me into Heaven.
His breath on the back of my neck sends shockwaves down my body as he whispers sweetly into my ear.
And as I close my eyes and sail away into the land of dreams he pulls me closer. I can feel the warmth of his lips as he kisses me goodnight.
I have never slept so sound in all my life.

His face still remains a mystery to my eyes but his spirit is as familiar to me as my own reflection.
..

I woke up the next morning with a melody in my heart.
New blood pumps through my veins at a different beat.
I feel music moving through my body.
I feel so much different than I did the day before.
My fairy godmother was listening.
All that comes to mind is him.
My toothpaste tastes like his kisses.
My morning coffee reminds me of how warm his touch is
I can hear his voice while I’m riding on the train.
Over the voices of people in the coffee shop.
Over the sound of passing cars.
Over the hustle and bustle of city life.
He calls to me. His voice is piercing.
It is unavoidable.
He is my destiny.

Show Em How Htown Does it

My girl. Beyonce shits on all haters, doubters and fools that think she isnt the Queen right now. I am watching this at my desk and am literally screaming like a schoolgirl. Im trying to get this routine down, as im sure most of my readers are. LOL Enjoy this before she takes it down!!!!

xoxo

Keri

Now Thats a Bad B*tch

Once again, my girl BEYONCE killed it with her new track " Single Ladies"!
I'm loving this track, it's very down south, A whole lot of TEXAS/LOUISIANA flavor. I can see myself banging this when im getting ready to hit it to the club, gym, or on the sauway. Heavy Rotation on the MP3 player. From the beat to the lyrics, im sold.



This next track "If I Were a Boy" is more of a reflective mid tempo song, not feeling it right now, but like most Beyonce singles itll grow on me.

Check it out and leave a comment!

Check it out! Whats your opinion?

Vote !!!

Hey everyone, here's my newest video. If you haven't registered to vote, get your ass out there and vote!!! Here's a site that can help you get registered http://www.rockthevote.com/rtv_register.html
You have no excuse!!!!

xoxo

Keri

"Un-De-Fuckingniable"

Hey Everyone,

Here is one of my favorite things. Miss Honey! Moi Rene is a legend. I know the kids caught a good "ki" from this in the last few months. But many of you old heads can remember when this got played in the club! In my uploading of vids i found this treasure. It always brings a smile to my face. Enjoy the " Un-Defuckingniable" Miss Honey

xoxo

Keri

Untitled, Brown Eyes

You found me, unspoiled and untouched
at a time when i didn't much know about myself you saw the person I could be.
And through the reflection of your brown eyes I started to see that same person.
your crooked smile warmed me
Your laugh made me believe in friendship
you made me desire more from myself.
And unknowingly made me desire you want you... crave you...

The moments I stole from Him, felt like an eternity in paradise.
Late nights spent on the phone or together.
You, me and that crooked smile a secret smile you only smiled for me.
And even though you didn't belong to me that smile did, so you did too.

We made love several times a day without touching
only through words
you kissed me hard with adjectives
your conversation penetrated me deep inside
you fucked me hard and long with adverbs
your stimulating conversation left me satisfied always ending with those 3 words.
but always empty as i lay alone at night

I wanted to give you all of me.
still do..
more than just a phone call a friendly hug or that warm smile
so i tell you....but you put me aside
sweeping me under the rug you pat my head and smile and
use thee"f" word
flattered... you're flattered at how i feel.
you just brushed off my love so easily
as just a crush a "school yard crush" is what you called it

But I knew that wasnt so
In my heart i knew you loved me back
Your brown eyes always tell the truth so i tell your lying mouth what your honest eyes have always said
I look right into those chocolate eyes and say "you love me too".

And as you walk away, I scream and cuss you out, you just keep walking
the days go by and the calls stop coming
I know you love me still

and i wait. i will always wait
for those brown eyes and that crooked smile to return back to me...
the one who loves you....
and the one who you love back.

Thoughts

Once upon a time, a little boy thought that he could be anything he wanted to be. His parents taught him that the sky was the limit and that the possiblities of life were endless; and he believed it. Everyday he looked hopefully to the clear blue sky with a toothless grin and told himself that one day he would fly higher than any bird or plane ever dared fly. Every night he would lay his head on his pillow anxiously awaiting the next day, until he fell into the land of dreams.
The innocence of a child is a beautiful thing. Pure, untouched, sacred and fragile. A young mind filled with dreams, happiness, and the hope of things to come. The innocence of a child is as precious as gold, platinum or money.When nurtured and protected a child can grow strong, confident, and can thrive and become great. But what happens when that innocence is snatched, consumed, stolen, raped and beaten out of that small, fragile body... What happens to the child then.... When innocence is gone, youre lying there bloody, trembling, afraid, and hurt. When innocence is taken and all that is left to fill the void is anger, pain, shame what do you do? The invisible scars seem to cover your body changing the way you look at yourself, morphing you into someone you never wanted to be.
Once upon a time, a little boy thought that he could be anything he wanted to be. His parents taught him that the sky was the limit and that the possiblities of life were endless; and he believed it. He lived his life as any other child. Then one day his innocence was stolen. His life changed forever. Every night he would lay his head on his pillow dreading the next day, until he cried hisself to sleep. His land of sweet dreams turned horrific nightmares. His once blue sky, turned into a thick black smoke that choked him on every breath. Life no longer seemed sweet, before becoming a teenager he'd tried several times to end his own life.
Who will protect the child whose innocence was stolen? Who will listen when no one believes him? Who will give him the strength to hold his head high? Who will help him see that he doesnt have to be ashamed?

Who will help him?
Who will be his fortress?
Who will love him?
Who will love ME?

Welcome to KeriBradshaw.Blogspot.com

Greetings everyone,

I created this blog as a part of a 2 month sabattical im embarking on, i needed a way to honestly and unapologetically get my thoughts out . I feel like have so many thoughts pent up inside of me. begging to be released. I came to New York, on April 8th,2008. I moved here from Houston, Tx. In my heart knew I was searching for something for independence, trying to find a sense of self. I had so much hurt and pain in my heart. I think the only way to let go of it was to leave the place where it was born. So i came here. 6 months later, i still feel like i havent let go of all my past baggage and pain. Over the course of the next two months. I plan to write daily and post new and old original poems, thoughts and stories in order to reflect and release.


Thus starts the sabattical, no cell phone, no boys, no outside distractions. Just me. This blog and you.

Get to Know Cinderfella

Written Friday, December 15, 2006

A lot of people say that whatever happens to you as a child will play a part in the person you become as an adult. As much as I wish i could change a lot of the things that happened to me in the past, I know that its made me the person who I am. One can only think though... Is that always a good thing. My childhood has made me build a wall that i havent let people into. I trapped my self into a fortress, built a moat and filled it with my own tears. However, the people who are the closest to me would probably tell you the complete opposite.
Unlike most people I am fully aware and am willing to admit why I built walls. Building walls was the only way to protect the person behind the facade. I think that I was born to be an actor, because all my life I have been forced to pretend to be something that I wasnt. My mother, father, grandmother even friends all pushed me in directions that I knew I didnt want to go. Now dont get me wrong, I love my family and im sure they only did what they thought they were doing what was right for me. But It wasnt.
One of my earliest memories of my childhood was of Mike Jackson. No I have never been to Neverland Ranch. BUT I was the Number One Micheal Jackson fan. I was about 5 or 6 years old and I could do the moonwalk, i had the jacket, the glove , lol, everything. One night my family and I stayed up to watch the world premier of M.J's "Remember the time" video. The one where he was all egyptian and he turned to dust. It was right after bathtime and in honor of the video I wore a black T-shirt with Micheal Jackson's face that was about as big as I was. I dont know why but for some reason I went into my mother's closet. I scrambled around looking for that "something extra. (Even as a child i knew about accessorizing.) My mother the called my name. I grabbed my mothers belt and wrapped it around my waist while examining myself and then ran downstairs. As I reached the bottom of the stairs the first thing I saw was my sister. I stood proudly in my ensemble, grinning from ear to ear. My sister was smiling but not in a way that seemed the least bit friendly and her eyes said something that scared me. "Mama, look at Josh" my sister cackled in a way that seemed half laugh and half scream. My mother turned and screamed at me, "Get your black ass up those stairs and take that shit off." I just stood there. Partially because I was scared out of my mind, but also because the video had just started. I tried to get her to understand that I wanted to watch the video. BIG Mistake. My mother charged at me grabbed my by my arm literally drug me up a flight of stairs. " Aint no sissies in this house. My little heart was broken. Not only did I not get to watch my video but my Mother hurt me, it wasnt being drug up about 15 stairs and having to go to bed so early. It was that word. Sissy. I didnt know what it was. I knew that it was bad , I knew that my mother hated whatever a sissy was. And my five year old heart knew as I cried myself to sleep that it wouldnt be the last time I would hear that word.
Allow me to reintroduce myself. Or rather introduce a part of me that very few of you know. This isnt a pity party, or meant to be a sob story or a cry for help. I am not a martyr. Honestly this is an outlet for me to tell a story that ive been wanting to tell for years. I wont give you everything. I wont even give you the half . Just know that as you read these entries that
This is me.